The Seamstress Made Me Do It

I'm tired. My mother-in-law would cringe that I wrote this for the public to see. How puny and whiny of me! But, I am. I work more than full-time running a business that employs several others, plus I keep my husbands' appointment and travel schedules. I am a single-mom (because my husband travels the globe). I have a 100 year old house in constant need of repair. I have two dogs and a cat, plus various other critters that keep invading my home through invisible holes. I have a teenage son involved in every sport in his school - need I say more?

Today, I determined that I am going to have to learn how to hem a pair of baseball pants. The horror! The last thing I have time for is sewing! I was forced to take Home-Ec in middle school, but I swore that I would never touch another sewing utensil again - God as my witness! The sight of a sewing machine makes me cringe. It's like math, it makes no sense to me. Give me a paint brush and some paints and I can make you a lovely picture. Give me a cookbook and some ingredients and I might be able to make something edible - although my son might beg to differ, I think most days I could do it fairly well. But, don't make me sew! My husband has made the mistake of approaching me with a button in one hand and sport coat in the other while stating, "Honey, you can just sew it back on for me." He withered quickly as I looked at him completely bewildered at his silly assumption and said firmly, "I most certainly will not. I do not sew! I do not, do not, do not SEW!"

I have managed all of these years to keep my commitment not to sew intact. But, today, I may have been undone.

There is only one place in my 'blink of an eye' town to get alterations done and I'll be darned if I can ever catch them open! Their sign states they are open for business Tuesday through Friday from 9am to 5pm and on Saturdays by appointment. So, I was there at 9am this fine Tuesday morning with my son's baseball pants in hand to be hemmed by this fine seamstress. The doors were firmly closed and the "Closed" sign still in place next to the hours that stated they should be open right now. There wasn't a car in the lot. I was confused. So, I thought I'd wait a few moments, maybe she got delayed. Then, another car drove up and it was another customer who said she had spoken to the seamstress only the day before who promised to meet her here promptly at 9am. No seamstress. We waited. Ten minutes later, still no seamstress. I left to do other things. I came back 30 minutes later and the same customer was still waiting - no seamstress. I gave up. I called the business number several times only to get a message that said the mailbox was full and "Goodbye." I went by again later in the day and this business had never opened up. I guess she doesn't need our business. To be fair, maybe she has the flu. But, it seems strange that some misfortune occurs on exactly the same days as I have something for her to mend. Because, this has happened several times when I try to take garments to her.

Now, woe is me because I have to pick up the dreaded sewing needle! I have a thousand other things to do, but tonight I'll spend hacking off extra material from my son's baseball pants and proceed to make a crooked hemline on each of the legs. It's likely one leg will be longer than the other. My son will look at me with total disgust, because in his eyes, I am just dumb and old. That part's nothing new, so I can probably stand it. I hope the other mothers won't judge me too harshly. Remember, ladies, I'm tired and lacking the proper skills for this. Sewing just isn't my thing, my Home-Ec teacher would attest to that, if she's still alive. But, my Art teacher would tell you that I sure could paint a pretty picture. Maybe I should just cut off the bottoms of those pants and glue the hemline! It's sort of like painting - problem solved! One leg may still be longer than the other, but my son will just have to stand crooked. I think he can make it work, he can just say he's tired!